The Night Before

I always find myself questioning my choices the night before a big event in my life:

Thinking about the things that could have happened. The things that have happened. The things I can't seem to shake, despite the miles I put between it and me.

I could have done it faster. Run further. Been stronger. I could have let it go. What if I had said no, or more terrifying, what if I had said yes?

I run the scenarios a few times. What if that left turn I didn't take turned out to be the right way? But instead I turned right and here I am.

After all is reviewed, it stands to reason we are all in the place we're meant to be. I took the right, because at the time, it was the way I was meant to go. So I'm hours away from the Grand Canyon and never before have I felt like I've been so unprepared. I can play dress up and spout back information I've read, but I'm still that little girl standing on the playground dreading the moment my mother lets go of my hand and I have to go in to class for the first time.