Adult Swim

As a kid, I always looked forward to trips because it meant hotel stays. There's something exciting and fun about sleeping in a bed not your own when you're young. And then you learn about germs and that you're actually sleeping on a bed that potentially thousands of other people have slept on... naked. Your opinion of hotels alters slightly after this.

So when I was informed we'd be leaving York at 2am, I knew I'd be stranded in Triangle, VA, for hours (maybe even days) until the people from the SCA came in for training. This left one option: hotel! I'll admit, there was still that excitement of staying in a hotel room, watching the television, taking a really long, luke-warm shower on someone else's dime.

At 3am, we pulled out of York, PA, and hit the road. At this early hour, there was no other traffic, which left us breezing into Triangle around 5am. I was barely out the door when my ride screeched out of the parking lot. They were already on beach time, after all, I'd have shoved me out in a tuck-and-roll maneuver in their position.

In the lobby, a couple was sitting on the couches watching TV, but I thought nothing of it. Right until the clerk informed me that to check in then, at 5am, I'd be charged for an additional day AND I had to come check out at noon. Keep in mind, it's 5am. Being the stubborn (read: cheap) person I am, I camped out in the lobby alongside the other couple.

At 6:30, after I'd stolen some of the "hot breakfast" (read: thawed out bagels and OJ), the clerk offered to check me in. What a friendly guy, I thought. He was checking me in early AND made a point of smiling at me and telling me he "put me way in a corner so I could get some sleep." Could this day get any better?

I was in my room and sleeping by 7. When I got up at 11:30, the possibilities were endless. First, I thought, I'll get some room service. Oh wait, there is no room service. OK, well then I'll just hit the restau--nope, that doesn't exist either. Hmm, ok, I guess I'll just go to the pool and get some sun. What's that? The pool is closed? Come on! In my last ditch attempt, I returned to my room to rent some movies, the best part of any hotel stay. Hold up, where is the "menu" button on this remote to order movies?!

So with all my hopes crushed, I went to the fitness room expecting maybe three free weights (this is the day I'm having). To my surprise, it was an actual fully-equipped gym room. I watched some old movies on the big TV and did my workout, proud of myself for venturing out. All I could think about was a nice, cooling shower. Of course, the temperature can't be regulated so I got a nice, scalding shower instead.

Thank you, Ramada.com for your lies!